Election Day 2022
Election Day, 2022
The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are drinking at the bar in the Frolic Room on Election Day. A thunderstorm is raging outside on Hollywood Boulevard. The streets of Los Angeles are covered in sheets of water.
Patrick and Timothy are both wearing “I Don’t Vote” red, white, and blue LED pins on their rain jackets. The LED lights cast a patriotic glow over their faces.
Eddie the bartender comes over to them with another round of drinks.
Timothy: Thanks, Eddie.
Patrick: Did you vote Eddie?
Eddie: I’ve been working all day. Pays more.
As Eddie walks away Patrick’s phone rings.
Patrick: Yeah? ….. Uh-huh….. What?!?……….. Okay.
Timothy: Okay? What was that about?
Patrick: It was the White House. Someone from Kamalatoe’s office. The woman on the phone wants us to write some speeches for Harris to get the country ready for her to become President when Biden goes into a coma in the basement.
Timothy: I thought Uncle Joe was already in a coma in the basement.
Patrick: So our job should be that much easier. Look, Kamalatoes is offering us good money. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of doing Bar Mitzvahs in Beverly Hills.
Timothy: Yeah. That Sapperstein gig was brutal. I haven’t been hit with that much produce since I was a garbageman.
Patrick: You look better with tomato sauce on your face. I’m still trying to get my tux cleaned.
Timothy: Well how do we make Kamalatoes look Presidential. She can’t put a sentence together.
Patrick: I guess she wasn’t lucky enough to have Sister Alice in 9th grade teaching us sentence structure at Holy Family. Focus man. This is real money.
Timothy: We will have to use simple four-word sentences like, “As President, I will.”
Patrick: Or maybe, “In these tough times.”
Timothy: How about, “I’m sure we can.”
Patrick: Or, “It won’t happen here.”
Timothy: A simple formula for success.
Patrick: Now don’t you start.
Eddie saunters over.
Eddie: Does this mean you will be paying your bar tab soon?
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A grand time is guaranteed for all