Ace: Top Gun

Ace; Top Gun. The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys May 12, 2023

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are in a booth at the Frolic Room on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles. It’s a hot sunny afternoon and boys are dressed casually.

Timothy wears his Bermuda shorts and Madras shirt with sandals. Patrick wears his black leisure suit and work boots. They are drinking Becks beers.

Timothy: These booths are great. We can slide right in and out and the rest room is only 10 feet away.

Patrick: Yeah. We get to hear everyone flush. And it’s close to the jukebox. Speaking of In-N-Out we should order some burgers for delivery.

Patrick’s cell phone rings on the table. Patrick answers the phone.

Patrick; Okay. Pause. You do realize that a Writers Guild Strike is going on here in Los Angeles? Pause. What? Pause… long pause. Are you crazy? We’ll be shot on the Strip if the writers find out. Pause. How much? Pause. Send over the script.

Timothy: I’m afraid to ask.

Patrick: That was the head of Paramount. They want us to finish the script for the new Tom Cruise movie; “Ace, Top Gun”.

Timothy: How much? You know the writers will kill us if they find out.

Patrick holds up seven fingers.

Timothy: Wow! Seven figures. What do we have to do?

Patrick: He said just finish the ending scenes of the movie. The head of Paramount is sending over the script to us right now.

Timothy: He knows where we are?

Patrick: Everyone in Hollywood knows where we are in the afternoon.

The door to the Frolic Room opens and a bike messenger comes in with a package. He hands it to Eddie, the bartender, who signs for it. Eddie brings the large envelope over to the booth.

Eddie: I tipped the messenger $20. I put it on your bar tab. Good luck with this. You know the writers will kill you if you scab.

Patrick: It’s just my latest wife…

Timothy: And mine.

Patrick: Sending over the divorce papers.

Eddie: Sounds complicated.

Timothy: That’s why the packet is so big.

Patrick: And if you’d had a bigger packet your wife might not have left you.

Timothy: Which packet? Front pocket or back?

Eddie laughs and leaves the boys alone.

Patrick and Timothy begin to read the “Ace: Top Gun” script.

Patrick: Ahh, Tom Cruise and his wife Jennifer Connolly are now old and their son is going to the Top Gun school as he is also a fighter pilot.

Timothy: Sounds like a money-making sequel idea.

Patrick: Oh, no! Tom Cruise talking to his son whose nickname is ‘Ace’. “You have to know your place, Ace!”

Timothy: Someone actually wrote that?

Patrick: Oh, yeah. So how do we save this script in the third act?

Timothy: I get the feeling that Ace is an arrogant pilot like his Dad, Maverick. He makes enemies. Ace has a girlfriend. She isn’t named Candace is she?

Patrick: I hope not.

Timothy: Ace screws up on a mission and Tom Cruise has to steal an F-18 and go save him.

Patrick: Or maybe Jennifer Connolly is also a pilot and flies a Dehavilland Beaver into the Central American jungle to save Ace from drug cartels.

Timothy: Oh, that’s a winner, lobster dinner.

Patrick: Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer’s son parachute out of the plane and kill all the bad guys and rescue Ace.

Timothy: Jennifer Connolly lands the Beaver on a jungle river to rescue them all and on take-off almost hits a waterfall while Tom Cruise, Jennifer and the two kids argue about who is the better pilot.

Patrick: I’ll send the script ideas off right away to Paramount.

Timothy: Ka-ching!


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