Nacho Libre 2: The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys
April 25, 2023
It’s another sunny 80F afternoon at the Frolic Room Bar on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles, California. The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are again on their bar chairs having a couple of Becks Beers.
The bar is festooned with Mexican flags. Eddie the bartender is wearing a sombrero and a serape. There is a statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe on the back bar. Eddie is playing Mariachi music on the jukebox.
Timothy: Okay Eddie, what gives? Why has the Frolic Room been turned into Pancho Villa’s rec room?
Eddie: It’s Cinco de Mayo week.
Patrick: Even I can read a calendar. Cinco de Mayo is ten days away.
Eddie: The Hispanic community celebrates Cinco de Mayo for weeks. It’s good money.
Timothy: This is bringing back bad memories.
Patrick: What do you mean by “bad memories”? Nacho Libre was our big break writing movie scripts. Hell, you even kept the gas-mower-powered tricycle. I’ve seen you riding that thing down Sunset Boulevard.
Timothy: I’m sentimental and besides, it’s good on gas and the bums don’t know how to start it.
Patrick: The movie did win the Teen-Aged Boys Movie of the Year Award.
Timothy: I still have that Golden Penis Award on the mantle.
Patrick: But did you keep the case of KY jelly that came with it and the inflatable blow-up doll?
Timothy: I’d rather not say what happened to them.
Patrick’s phone rings.
Patrick: Yeah. Pause. Are you sure? Pause. You know what happened in Mexico last time. Pause. Okay. We’ll see what we can come up with.
Timothy: No. It can’t be.
Patrick: Speak of the devil and Jack Black gives us a call. He wants to make Nacho Libre 2.
Timothy: It took me a year to get over the Diahhrito Burrito back in 2006. What was the name of that horrid place?
Patrick: The Mission at San Luis Bowelyo. I think we drank up all the Pepto Abysmalo in town.
Timothy: A pink tequila was my drink of choice.
Patrick: Any ideas for a script for Jack?
Timothy: Maybe we can make the monk/wrestler the new Pope and he wrestles the leaders of the world.
Patrick: For charity of course.
Timothy: Of course, but the Pope Wrestler throws them to the floor of the Sistine Chapel so hard that the politicians wake up and see the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
Patrick: And the murdering lying bastards are converted on the spot into peaceful celibate monks living on a small island off of Greece.
Timothy: The ending is the temptation of goats.
Patrick: And Macron says, “No. They are too smelly.”
Timothy: Biden says, “What is that smell? Those aren’t little girls.”
Patrick: Putin says, “I eat their testicles to keep me strong.”
Timothy: Xi says, “ I smell this in the latrine.”
Patrick: And then we have a cameo of Sally Field in her Flying Nun outfit.
Timothy: It’s called a habit.
Patrick: You have too many habits.
Timothy: So what does the Flying Nun say?
Patrick: “Who wants to wrestle me?”