Blue Tuxedo Boys go to Afghanistan, July 27, 2021
Patrick and Timothy are dressed in their powder blue tuxedos as
they get off of the bus from Kabul that took them to Bagram Air
Base. A base recently abandoned by the US Military. They are there
to meet the local Taliban commander.
Patrick: How much dust can a country have?
Timothy: It would appear that there is no limit.
The brush themselves off as they get off the bus. An armed Taliban
fighter with an AK-47 greets them in Pashtu.
Timothy: We don’t speak Pashtu. Do you have an interpreter?
The Taliban fighter walks away as he motions for them to follow.
Patrick: Well, here we go.
The boys in powder blue follow the Taliban into a nearby tent at the
edge of the airfield. The tent is air-conditioned.
Patrick: Ahhh, this is more like it. Good ol’ American refrigerated
Timothy: Lots of air conditioners here. I wonder who got the
Taliban fighter motions to them to sit on the carpet on the floor of
Patrick: This rug really ties this room together.
Timothy: Well, that’s just like your opinion, man.
The tent flap parts and a large Taliban fighter enters all dressed in
robes, turban, and carrying a file folder.
Ali: My name is Ali. I speak English. We know who you are. We know
why you are here. You are here to bring us the keys.
Patrick: Yes. We have the keys to all the trucks the US military left
behind. They are here in this briefcase. All we ask for is some small
Ali: Do you not see that all of the trucks have been burned by the
infidels as they left our lands?
Timothy: Well, that part wasn’t on the news back home.
Ali: You are wasting our time. Do you have anything else to trade?
Patrick; What about the helicopters? Those 53 Sikorsky UH-60
choppers that none of you know how to fly or get flying
Timothy: We know people. Good people. Pilots and mechanics and
parts people who can help you get those choppers flying again.
Ali: Why would they come to my country to help us?
Ali: This is true. You infidels will do anything for money.
Timothy: You do still grow opium here, yes?
Ali: I see. You wish to trade helicopters for opium.
Patrick: Now we have a deal.
Just then a huge dust storm hits the Bagram Air Base. All is hidden.
the tent struggles to stay tied to the ground. The wind is horrific.
The powder blue tuxedo boys are rocking in their lotus positions on
“Wake up! Wake up!” The barman shouts. “Closing time!”
Timothy and Patrick rub their eyes and slowly pull their heads off of
the bar of the Frolic Room in Los Angeles.
Patrick: What a weird dream.
Timothy: You talk in your sleep.
Patrick: So do you think the Taliban go for the deal?
Timothy: Sure. It’s a slam dunk.