The Jewish Siberian Wedding, May 5, 2021

My wife and I were in the catering business for 6 years between 2000 and 2006 in the San Francisco Bay area. Our catering company was based in Santa Rosa, CA about an hour’s drive north of SF on Hwy 101.

We did over a thousand catering jobs; funerals, weddings, bar mitzvahs, Oscar parties, family reunions, winery events, even a dinner for the animation artists at Pixar. They were an odd bunch.

Weddings were of course the most stressful catering jobs. The bride’s mother always wanted it all perfect. We did Russian weddings (lots of vodka and bad dancing), Mexican weddings, Indian weddings, lots of Jewish weddings.

Which brings me to my story.

We were to do a catering job at a suburban house outside of Santa Rosa for a couple being married. The groom was a Californian. A nice guy. He had brown hair, brown eyes, and the usual tanned skin us guys from northern European ancestry have after a summer of exposure to the sun in California.

His bride to be was a Jew from Siberia. They’d met at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks. They made quite a couple.

The Jewish bride had red hair, a beautiful face and figure (she did not have a big nose), and her skin was so clear as to be translucent. I mean, one could literally see the veins under her skin. I got the impression that the sun doesn’t shine much in Vladivostok.

Her father was there from Siberia, but her mother couldn’t come as the Russian government was afraid that if both parents went to the wedding in Santa Rosa, they wouldn’t come back to Siberia. The bride’s father was a dapper man who spoke okay English. He also smoked like a chimney. All the Siberians at the wedding smoked. There was also a cousin there if I remember right.

The wedding was a simple affair. Nothing special. The newly married couple were happy.

Don’t know how their marriage turned out.

But I’ll never forget how beautiful those Siberian Jews were and how their skin was whiter than mine. It taught me that race theory is bullshit.

Put the deepest darkest skinned African in Siberia for a few decades or generations and see what happens.

TJM

PS: One more Siberian story. About 15 years ago a friend of mine, Gala Sr. (the woman who survived the St. Tomas Jap POW camp in Manila in WWII) had a friend down from Homer, Alaska staying at her house.

The friend was an Irishman who repaired the fishing boats up there. The Irishman told us the story of the local fisherman who answered an ad for a Siberian wife.

The Siberian wife was a gymnast. She was beautiful and in great shape. The Alaskan fisherman treated her well. He bought her gym equipment and his Siberian wife would work out and watch the Home Shopping Network. She’d buy things. She was happy. Southeast Alaska was like the tropics to her compared to Siberia.

The fisherman would go to the bar after docking his boat. Have a beer or two and then say, “Time to go home and work out in the gymnasium.”

Well, one day he was “working out” and had a heart attack.

A fellow fisherman married his widow. Gave her the same big TV, gym equipment, and credit card.

She lived happily ever after.

TjM