The Eyeball Planet

The Eyeball Planet March 15th, 2026

The scene is the Oval Office of the White House. The National Security Advisor is briefing the President. It’s a nice sunny afternoon in Washington, D.C.

NSA: Mr. President, there’s a bit of an emergency. Astronomers have discovered an Eyeball Planet, and it is watching us.

President: We are very interesting. I can see why they like watching us. We have the best movies, television, and wars in the universe.

NSA: Yes, Mr. President. That seems to be the problem with the Eyeballers.

President: Eyballers? You call them Eyeballers?

NSA: They are eyeballing us from the Eyeball Planet.

President: Ahh, makes sense.

NSA: It seems that the Eyeballers have blown up the moon.

President: Our moon?

NSA: Yes, Mr. President. They say it is a warning.

President: People are going to notice if the moon is gone. What’s the cover story?

NSA: We’ve sent the moon out for cleaning. It is a very dusty place.

President: Ahh, yes, it is. It needs a good vacuuming.
NSA: The Eyballers are demanding that we end all wars and quit killing each other.

President: Where’s the fun in that? Not gonna happen.

NSA: The Eyeballers say they will vaporize Earth if the wars don’t stop.

President: They are bluffing. Launch a nuclear bomb at the Eyeball Planet.

The nuke is launched at the Eyeballers, who promptly vaporize the rocket and the Earth.

Eyeballer President: That was fun. Time for lunch.

TJM