Lipsy Butane & The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys, August 12, 2025

Lipsy Butane & The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys,
August 12, 2025

It’s another hot sunny afternoon in Los Angeles. The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are in their booth at the Frolic Room on Hollywood Boulevard. “You Spin me Round, Round (like a record)” by Alvin and the Chipmunks is playing on the jukebox.

Patrick’s phone rings playing “Hail to the Chief”.

Patrick: Fuck! It’s Trump. You answer it.

Timothy: Do you think Trump knows about your afternoon with Melania at Mar-a-Lago?

Patrick: We just had a little tete-a-tete.

Timothy: She gave you a pair of her powder blue panties.

Patrick: Just a memento of our relationship.

Timothy: Are you still wearing them?

Eddie shouts from the bar: Phone’s still ringing dudes!

Timothy answers the phone.

Timothy: Hello, Mr. President.

Trump: Are you two clowns still drinking in that dive bar in Hollywood? Wake up! I got a job for you two bozos. Lipsy Butane is selling chip technology to the Mao-Mao. My tailor in Hong Kong told me about it. The Chinks really want this chip tech.

Timothy: You mean, Doritos?

Trump: Good idea. Melania! Get me a bag of Doritos! And don’t forget the Diet Coke!

Melania: Get it yourself, Pencil Dick!

Trump: No. I mean computer chip tech for AI. My Hong Kong tailor, he makes great suits! Love the guy. My tailor says that Lipsy Butane is going to make the drop at his church in Berkeley tomorrow afternoon. The flash drive will be in a toy in the donation box. Get it and send it to me.

Click!

Timothy: Looks like we’re taking a road trip up the 101 to Berkeley.

Patrick: We’ll take the Maserati.

…

The next afternoon, the Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are in The First Presbyterian Church of Berkeley. They are going through the box of donated toys.

Patrick: Which doll holds the flash drive?

Timothy: My money’s on this devil monster doll. What kid would want that?

Patrick: Time to give the devil a cavity search.

Patrick and Timothy stick their fingers up the devil doll’s ass, looking for the flash drive. The church door opens. In walks a mother and her young son.
Little Jimmy: Look, Mom! What are those two men doing to that doll?

The mother quickly covers the boy’s eyes.

Mother: You two men should be ashamed of yourselves!

Timothy and Patrick look at each other.

…

A few days later, the Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are back in their booth at the Frolic Room, drinking Beck’s Beers. Alvin and the Chipmunks is still playing on the jukebox.

Patrick: Who knew that molesting a toy was a crime in Berkeley?

Timothy: I thought everyone molested toys in Berkeley. At least Trump got us out of jail.

Timothy’s phone rings, playing a ringtone of “Money, Money, Money… MONEY!”

Timothy: Trump just put $5 million in our Cayman Bank account. What was on that flash drive you sent him?

Patrick: The Epstein client list, along with the money each client paid.

Timothy: Ah! What did you do with the real flash drive with all the AI computer chip tech on it?

Patrick: I sent it to Ridley Scott.

Timothy: Oh.

Patrick: Let the chips fall where they may.
Fin

TJM