PBTB in Space

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys Go Into Space

October10th, 2024

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys, Patrick and Timothy, have flown from Los Angeles to Austin, Texas. Elon Musk has hired them for a job. The boys are wearing their powder blue tuxedos but with string ties, white cowboy boots, and white cowboy hats to fit in with the Texas decor.

The boys are asked in to Elon Musk’s office. On Elon’s desk is a model of the original Tesla car. It’s made of silver and has a switch on the trunk.

Timothy and Patrick sit in the expensive leather chairs across the desk from Elon.

Elon: I’ve asked you both here because I have a job for you.

Patrick: Yeah. Thanks for the upfront money, but you didn’t say what the job was.

Timothy picks up the silver Tesla model and flicks the switch on the trunk. The headlights come on, and a whirring noise is heard from the Tesla model.

Elon: Please don’t do that. Give me the car.

Elon’s phone rings.

Elon: Yes? Yeah, I know…It was an accident… Was it a good launch?… Good. Great. Get the next rocket ready.

Outside the window, the boys can see a rocket that has launched into space.

Elon: Please don’t touch the car again.

Elon puts the model Tesla in his desk drawer.

Patrick: What’s the job?

Elon: I’m having your boys sent up on the next rocket to the International Space Station. I think there is something afoot up there. Communications from the astronauts on the ISS are strange. They sound like robots. They sound like me.

Timothy: I can see how that would be upsetting.

Patrick: So, you want us to go up in a rocket into orbit, rendezvous with the ISS, and then find out if there’s something wrong with the astronauts?

Elon: Yeah.

Timothy: Do we get hazard pay?

Elon: I’ll give you a 20% bonus. Find out what’s wrong.

Patrick: How do we get back?

Elon: The rocket you go up in will stay at the ISS until extraction.

Timothy: Extraction?

Elon: Meeting over. You will be picked up at 5 AM tomorrow for launch.

…

Patrick and Timothy are wearing powder blue spacesuits as they sit in the rocket capsule awaiting launch.

Timothy: Are you sure about this?

Patrick: I’m sure about the money.

Timothy: How will we know if the astronauts are weirding out?

Patrick: Just think of your in-laws.

The rocket blasts off and docks with the International Space Station. The PBTB go into the ISS and meet the crew. The crew is very formal and distant.

Timothy: You guys up here haven’t taken in any strange plants or seen seed pods lying about, have you?

Ivan (Russian astronaut): Nyet! We play dominoes.

Tanaka (Japanese astronaut): Dominoes is good game.

Tiffany (American astronaut): We use magnetic dominoes. Gives my breasts a lift.

Patrick and Timothy exchange worried glances.

Patrick: We brought some Vodka.

Timothy: Let’s have a drink and play dominoes.

Ivan: Vodka, nyet!

Tanaka: Vodka, lie!

Tiffany: Naaahh! We just play dominoes, magnetic dominoes.

Patrick looks out the window of the dining area and sees a bright light approaching at rapid speed.

Timothy: What the hell is that?

Tanaka: More dominoes.

Ivan: Brings more dominoes.

Tiffany: My breasts are floating like teenager.

Patrick: We need to go check our gear.

Timothy: I think we brought some dominoes.

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys run, well, float, as fast as they can back to their rocket.

The boys climb in and call Elon.

Patrick: Elon! All of the astronauts are nuts. They keep talking about dominoes and won’t drink vodka.

Timothy: Even Ivan wouldn’t drink vodka. Something is very wrong.

Patrick: And Tiffany kept talking about her floating breasts.

Elon: That again. They do float.

Timothy: Do you use magnetic dominoes?

Elon: It’s patented Tesla technology.
Patrick: Get us out of here!

The rocket undocks from the ISS and heads off into a lower orbit. Timothy and Patrick look out the window to see the bright light approach the ISS.

As the bright light comes into view, it becomes a familiar shape to Patrick and Timothy.

Patrick: Looks like they ordered food delivered.

Timothy: Hope they tip the driver.

TJM