The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys in 1958

October 25th, 2023

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys in 1958, Lincoln, Nebraska
October 25th, 2023

Patrick and Timothy are 7 years old and going to school at Holy Family Catholic School on Sheridan Boulevard in Lincoln, Nebraska.

They are cute little boys. Patrick with his swarthy Italian-Irish looks and curly brown hair. Timothy with his freckled Irish-Norwegian heritage and blonde hair.

……

It’s 6:30 AM in the side room off of the altar at the Holy Family Auditorium nee the church. Father O’Brien is a short Irish priest who has just come in by bus from NYC where he landed after a flight from Shannon Airport in western Ireland. This will be his first Mass at his Holy Family Parish in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Timothy is in 2nd grade and will be the altar boy. Timothy has finished his morning Lincoln Star paper route and is now in the sacristy awaiting Fr. O’Brien whom he’s never met before.

Father O’Brien walks into the room and says hello in an Irish brogue so thick that Timothy can barely understand him. Timothy opens up the large drawers full of vestments and pulls out the appropriate ones for Fr. O’Brien to say Mass that morning. 

As the last purple silk vestment goes over the head of Father O’Brien he says in a thick brogue: Timothy, I’m having some trouble with the rope belt around me waist. Will you check it?

As Timothy bends down to adjust the rope belt, Father O’Brien pushes down Timothy’s head toward the priest’s nether regions.

Timothy quickly pulls away and runs up the aisle ramp to class. He skips going to Mass that morning and hides out in the boy’s lavatory.

After that Father O’Brien never touches Timothy again. Timothy never mentions the incident. Father O’Brien overcompensates by making Timothy the star of the Holy Family Eagles track team as they run up and down the median of Sheridan Boulevard in training for meets. Timothy loses every race and the cheerleaders avoid him like the loser he is.

……

Patrick is summoned from the second grade classroom by Sister Malice the principal of Holy Family School.

Sister Malice: Patrick, you have been a lot of trouble. I am aware of an incident that occurred in the fenced-in outside area at recess, where you spotted children bagging baby rabbits with sandwich bags from their sack lunches. Those were my rabbits! I want them returned immediately!

Patrick: Sister Malice, I already sold them to pet shops downtown. It’s Easter and there is high demand.

Sister Malice: I figured as much. Fortunately for you, I have a way for you to pay for your crimes. Frank Morrison is a Democrat running for the Senate here in Nebraska. He wants a cute kid who looks like a mutt of many lineages, to be in one of his campaign ads. You have been chosen. Tomorrow you will be driven to the Governor’s mansion to make a TV ad for Mr. Morrison.

Patrick: But why the Governor’s Mansion? He’s not running for governor.

Sister Malice: I guess the governor’s mansion is the closest pillared building Nebraska has that looks like Washington D. C. Now, be on your best behavior tomorrow!

The next day, Patrick is driven to the governor’s mansion. He goes in front of the TV cameras for the ad filmed on the lawn with the pillars in the background.

Director: Just say what’s on the cue card, kid!

Patrick is dressed in his powder blue tuxedo that he wore on Halloween.

Patrick: Citizens of Nebraska living the good life. I think Frank Morrison would make a swell Senator. He likes spaghetti. He likes corned beef and cabbage, and I know him well. This curly Afro on my head is no lie. So, I’m asking all you brothers to vote for Frank.

Director: That’s NOT on the cue card!

Patrick throws down the microphone and walks home.

……

In later life (6th grade), Timothy becomes a drunkard and joins forces with his friend Patrick in a partnership against the nuns, priests, and authority figures in general. It is a lifelong friendship.

TJM