Trump at Pebble Beach

Trump at Pebble Beach, Feb. 13th, 2021

Our powder blue boys in tuxedos are ensconced in the club house bar at the Pebble Beach golf club. This weekend is the famous Pebble Beach Pro/Am golf tournament.

They are both wearing powder blue golfing outfits with argyle socks and spats on their feet. They are watching the golf tourney on the TV behind the bar.

Timothy: I thought all the bars were closed in California?

Patrick: Not for these guys.

Timothy: So why are we here?

Patrick: You were the one who gave Trump the idea to pretend he was Michael Douglas for the golf tournament. Trump wants us here in case something goes wrong.

Timothy: I was kidding. Trump is much fatter than Douglas.

Patrick: Well, fading movie stars get fat. I already leaked the story to the press about Douglas’ eating disorder. He is a sucker for french fries dipped in ranch dressing.

Timothy: That would explain a lot.

Patrick: Trump needed a place to hide during the impeachment bullshit and he likes to golf, so….

Timothy: How is Trump doing on the course?

Patrick: You mean “Michael Douglas”? He’s doing great. His pro partner is Phil Mickelson and they are just a few shots off of the Pro/Am lead.

Timothy: Well, Trump did take care of Phil’s tax problems.
Patrick: And Phil is returning the favor. Symmetry. I love it.

Timothy: So why are we here?

Patrick: In case our boy wins the Pro/Am. We will have to write a little speech that makes Trump sound like Douglas as he accepts the trophy.

Timothy: Well, let’s hope “our boy” doesn’t win. I don’t know how we make Trump sound like Michael Douglas.

….

Unfortunately for the boys in powder blue, Phil Mickelson and “Michael Douglas” do win the Pro/Am. A “waiter” with a gun bulge under his uniform delivers a message to the powder blue duo at the bar:

“Send me my acceptance speech NOW!” signed DJ Trump.

Timothy: We start off with “I will not be ignored!” A great line from “Fatal Attraction”. That should get a laugh.

Patrick: Yeah, then Trump laughs and says, “My partner is not fatal. Phil made all the putts. I’d go out on a date with him anytime.”

Timothy: Homerun!

Patrick and Timothy write down the dialogue on a napkin and give it to the “waiter” to deliver to Trump.

An hour later Douglas/Trump comes into the bar.

Douglas/Trump: Well done boys! Bartender. Put their drink’s on Michael Douglas’ tab.

Bartender: Yes sir. Will we be seeing you again next week?

Douglas/Trump: Maybe. Catherine has me on a strict diet. No alcohol.

End.