Saint Patrick’s Day

An Irish Story, Saint Patrick’s Day, 2019
My Dad would go to Ireland on occasion back in the day. He’s fly
into Shannon Airport from the USA and he always hired a car and
driver.
One of his favorite trips was with the driver Palance or something
similar in name. My memory of names…
Well, Palance took my Dad to the pubs and hotels. One night at a
pub, my Dad told the local Irishmen about Rocky Mountain Oysters
(sheep testicles) as being a delicacy in the American Midwest.
Palance and my Dad were in the restroom peeing next to each other
and Palance asked my Dad, “Now, were you funnin’ us in there
about the Rocky Mountain Oysters?”
The Irish do not eat them.
Then on one long journey on the winding narrow roads of the
Emerald Isle, Palance told my Dad about when he drove around
Robert Goulet, Leslie Nielsen, and the “Pizza King of New Jersey” on
a tour of Ireland.
“We’d get to a pub and that Goo-let guy would get up and sing every
time. He couldn’t carry a note.”
…..
Years later, my Dad met Leslie Nielsen at a golf tournament in
Savannah, Georgia.
My Dad, being the open friendly Irishman he is, walked up to
Nielsen and said, “We have a common friend; Palance in Ireland. My
Dad told Leslie what Palance had said about Goulet’s singing.”
Nielsen immediately began to laugh.
“Haha! That’s true. I’d kid Bob about how no one ever said I couldn’t
act. Did Palance tell you about how we stole his limo one night?”
“Hell no!”
“The three of us went out to the limo while Palance was taking a
piss and drove off into the countryside. Palance went nuts.”
I’m sure it all turned out well.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
Tim McGraw
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