The Maduro Caper

The Maduro Caper, January 5th, 2026

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are on the second-floor balcony of Miraflores, the Presidential Palace in Caracas, Venezuela. They have been hired by President Mauduro and his wife to act as their doubles. Patrick will be President Maduro, and Timothy will be Mrs. Celia Maduro.

Patrick gazes over the city and hills.

Patrick: I kinda like wearing this general’s uniform with the sash. I feel like General Peron.

Timothy: And I feel like Evita (sings) Don’t Cry for me Argentina!

Patrick: Please don’t do that.

Timothy: It’s the dress. This is something Madonna would definitely wear.

Patrick walks up to President Maduro.

Patrick: I don’t have to kiss him/her, do I?

Timothy: Another million more for that. 

Maduro: That won’t be necessary. I’ll explain more in the morning.

Maduro and his wife fly away on a helicopter. The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys fall asleep watching Venezuelan soap operas. US Special Forces break into the palace. They kill the 32 Cuban bodyguards.

Timothy: Those poor Cuban boys.

Patrick: I’ll miss the cigars from Havana.

The Maduro imitators are whisked off to an aircraft carrier in the Caribbean. From there, they fly to New York. President Trump has the Maduro doubles flown to the White House.

Patrick is put in Melania’s bedroom. Timothy is put in the Lincoln Bedroom.

It’s bedtime. Melania walks into Maduro/Patrick’s room.

Melania: Hey there, sailah. You from Venezuela? Me make you happy long time.

Meanwhile, Timothy is fending off Trump’s advances with a top hat in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Melania and Patrick have met before. They had an afternoon tete-a-tete the day the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago

Melania: I know that dick! You are Patrick the Prick. Why are you dressed up like Maduro?

Patrick: Maduro paid us a million bucks to impersonate them. Then your husband kidnapped us.

Melania: You mean Mrs. Maduro is Timothy?

Patrick: Afraid so.

Melania: Oh, Donald won’t like that.

A scream is heard from the Lincoln bedroom. The Donald runs down the hallway to the Oval Office. He calls the Special Forces and the CIA.

Trump: What kind of operation do you guys run? That is not Mrs. Celia Maduro in the Lincoln Bedroom! Please have it removed. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Meanwhile, Melania is satiated and asleep. Patrick takes off the general’s uniform and puts on one of Donald’s blue suits with a dress shirt and red tie. Timothy runs into the room, his wig is askew.

Timothy: I gotta get outta this dress, and we gotta get outta here!

Patrick: Put on one of Trump’s suits. I think the gold tie will suit you.

Timothy: Hey, look! Trump’s toupees.

The boys put on the orange toupees and head out the door. They find a golf cart parked out back. The keys are in it.

Patrick: Giddy-yap!

The two Trumps drive out the main gate of the White House in the golf cart.

Marine Guard 1: Looks like Trump and his double are going out for a round of golf.

Marine Guard 2: It would be creepy to golf with your double. How do you keep score?

Guard 1: I wouldn’t wanta be a caddie for that twosome.

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys drive the golf cart down Pennsylvania Avenue as fast as it will go.

Timothy: Was Melania happy to see you?

Patrick: She gave me another powder blue pair of her panties.

Timothy: And you’re wearing them.

Patrick: It helps my putting.
TJM