The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys & The Holidays

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys & The Holidays

November 9th, 2025

It’s a dark and rainy afternoon in Los Angeles. The marquee lights of the Frolic Room are on at 4:30 PM. Rainwater is rushing in torrents down the street gutters of Hollywood Boulevard.

Patrick & Timothy are in their usual booth at the Frolic Room. They are watching football on the TV screen over the bar. The coaches of the football teams are all wearing Army camouflage to show support for the US Armed Forces. November 11th is Veterans Day. “Christmas Don’t Be Late” by Alvin & the Chipmunks is on the jukebox.

Patrick: Good grief! Look at all this NFL hoopla bowing down to the military. Maybe the teams should just re-enact WWI.

Timothy: Sure. “It’s a battle in the trenches. The halfback is slashing his way through enemy lines.”

Patrick: “The quarterback is launching a long-range Zeppelin attack. He scores on the long bomb.”

Timothy: Yeah. If the sports announcers really want to support the military, describe the game like that.

Patrick: Thanksgiving is next. You have any plans? The Frolic Room is closed that day.

Timothy: Egad! We’ll have to watch football at another bar.

Patrick: All the bars will be packed with men and women escaping their family dinners, probably some underage teens as well.

Timothy: Do you own a TV?

Patrick: No. Do you?

Timothy: I have an old Zenith black & white TV with rabbit ears.

Patrick: Do you ever throw anything away?

Timothy: Not lately.

Patrick: We can go to the San Manuel Casino. It’s only 65 miles away. The Indians run it. We can watch football in the sports book.

Timothy: We can dress up like Pilgrims.

Patrick: And bring some beads and blankets.

Timothy: I hear they have great nachos at San Manuel.

Patrick: Sure. Some beer. Some nachos. Bet on the football games. We’ll have some laughs. It’ll be a great Thanksgiving!

…

It’s Thanksgiving Day. The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys drive out on the freeway to the San Manuel Casino in Patrick’s midnight blue Maserati. They are wearing powder blue Pilgrim outfits.

The large American Indian bouncer at the door gives them an eye over.

Bouncer: Halloween is over, Pilgrims.

Patrick: I like to dress up for all the holidays.

Timothy: I do it to try to remember what the holidays are all about.

Patrick: Last Christmas, we both dressed up like Baby Jesus.

Timothy: We did wear powder blue diapers, so our costumes weren’t historically accurate.

Patrick: But we sure riled up some folks down at the local Methodist Church.

Bouncer: Okay. Behave yourselves.

Timothy: Of course, Tonto.

Patrick: My friend here is a big fan of The Lone Ranger.

The Bouncer goes into stoic Indian mode.

The Powder Blue Pilgrims head off for the Sports Book. After placing their bets, they find a booth where they can see all the games on the big screens. They order nachos and Beck’s Beers.

Patrick and Timothy have placed large bets on the KC Chiefs to defeat the Dallas Cowboys. The game started at 1:30 PM. It’s now three hours later. It’s the fourth quarter of the game, with Dallas leading by 2. KC has the ball with less than two minutes to go. A field goal by KC will win the game. The boys are excited. Their eyes are riveted to the big TV screen.

Patrick: C’mon Chiefs! Beat those Cowboys.

Timothy: Yeah! Bring back the buffalo.

The TV screens go dark. Indian drums begin to beat on the large stage under the giant TV screens.

Patrick: What the feck is this!

Timothy: Do you think it’s our Pilgrim outfits?

Onstage, a dozen women come out in tribal costumes. Over the public address system, an Indian voice announces, “Please welcome the San Manuel Tribal Bird Dancers!”

The women begin to dance rhythmically to the beating drums. They sing in a high-pitched bird song of tweets and whistles.

Patrick yells: Turn those TVs back on!

Timothy: Feck the dancers! Who won the Chiefs game?

The large Indian bouncer approaches their booth.

Patrick: Time to go.

Timothy: Follow me.

Timothy and Patrick run up onto the stage. They play the part of Pilgrims trying to imitate the Bird Dancers. Timothy tweets. Patrick does high-pitched whistles. It is so ridiculous that the Bird Dancers all start to laugh.
Soon, the whole Sports Book is laughing.

After the performance, Patrick and Timothy are made honorary members of the San Manuel tribe. They are given tribal tattoos on their genitalia.

Walking carefully bow-legged to the Maserati, Patrick asks, “What does your tattoo say?”

Timothy: I’m afraid to look. What does your say?

Patrick: I think I’ll have to take Viagra to read it.

Timothy: Did the Chiefs win the game?

Patrick: Yeah. I collected our winnings.

Timothy: Do you think this happened to the Pilgrims?

Patrick: I don’t think the Pilgrims had sports betting.

Timothy: No. The tattoos.

Patrick: It would explain their Puritan hangups about sex.

Timothy: You did a great job with that high-pitched whistle.

Patrick: And your tweeting was very professional.

Timothy: Where do you want to go for Christmas?

Patrick: Not a synagogue. Lord knows what the Jews would do to our cocks.

Fin