The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys Meet Mr. Skin, July 15, 2025
It’s a lovely 75°F sunny afternoon in Los Angeles. The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are in their usual booth at the Frolic Room on Hollywood Boulevard. “Mr. Skin” by Spirit is playing on the jukebox.
The local news is playing on the TV over the bar. The TV announcer talks about two teddy bears made out of human skin found at a gas station in Victorville.
Timothy: Seems a bit early for toys to be falling out of Santa’s sleigh.
Patrick: Those teddy bears are hideous.
Timothy: Very bad stitching.
Patrick: That doesn’t look like human skin.
Timothy: It looks man-made.
Patrick: Human skin is man-made. I make my own.
Timothy: Well, there’s man-made and then there’s man-made.
Patrick: Let’s go down there to Victorville and check it out. We aren’t doing anything.
Timothy: It will be 110 in the shade out there in the desert.
Patrick: Yeah, but it’s the aircraft boneyard. I think our old B-57 Canberra bomber might be there.
Timothy: We had some great times in that Canberra. Taking off from Thailand and bombing the jungle from 33,000 feet.
Patrick: And the evenings in Thailand. Barbecued chicken, Singha beers, and the Thai women all night.
Timothy: Oh, those were great times. Sure, let’s go.
…
The next day, a cab drops Timothy and Patrick off at the aircraft boneyard outside of Victorville in the desert. The boys are wearing air-conditioned powder blue Haz-Mat suits to stay cool and avoid any toxins.
Patrick: What’s that smell? I can smell it through the Haz-Mat suit.
Timothy: I haven’t smelled that since 1971 in Uncle Ole’s basement. That’s Naugahyde.
Patrick: The cheap leather substitute found in every rec room in the Midwest.
Timothy: The smell is coming from that 747 cargo plane.
The boys climb into the plane and find a small factory of Naugahyde dolls, teddy bears, and voodoo dolls.
Patrick: Someone has a lot of Naugahyde.
Timothy: Look! Amazon packaging. I smell a Bezos.
Patrick: It looks like he’s trying to imitate human skin.
Timothy: A skin flint into skin. Figures.
Patrick: You’ve seen his new wife. She definitely has skin for all to see.
Timothy: Bezos may be skin obsessed.
Sirens sound in the distance.
Patrick: It must be Bezos Security. We’d better go.
The boys jump out of the plane and run down the rows of aircraft.
Timothy: Look! It’s our old Canberra! It still has PBTB written under the cockpit.
Patrick: And the LBJ and Nixon bobbleheads on the dash.
Timothy: It has new tires. This has been flown recently.
Patrick: It smells like Naugahyde. They must be using our Canberra to ship product in and out.
Timothy: There was a lot of in and out on the Naugahyde couches back in the day. It was easy to clean.
Patrick: Let’s fire it up and get out of here.
The boys fire up the plane and take off, headed for Bakersfield. At 20,000 feet, the engines flame out.
Timothy: We’re out of fuel.
Patrick: We’ll have to punch out.
The boys eject and float downward under their parachutes. They land in the pool of the Town & Country Motel in Bakersfield. They undo their chutes and climb out of the pool in their Haz-Mat suits.
Monica: Look! It’s Patrick and Timothy! What are they doing here again?
Susie: Well, we did steal their wallets last time.
Monica: And why are they wearing Haz-Mat suits?
Susie: Don’t look at me. I went to the clinic.
Monica & Susie shout, “Hey, boys!”
Patrick: I want my Roy Rogers wallet back.
Timothy: And I want my Dale Evans wallet back.
Patrick: Dale Evans?
Timothy: I like cowgirls. I had an autographed photo of Dale Evans on my bedroom wall as a kid.
Susie: So you like cowgirls. How about if Monica and I get on our cowgirl outfits and meet you two for dinner?
Patrick: All we have are these Haz-Mat suits.
Monica: We love firemen.
…
The foursome has a great dinner, drinks by the pool, and another fun night in the honeymoon suite.
The next morning, Patrick and Timothy are snoring away in the suite. Monica and Susie are drinking coffee and eating grapefruit in the motel restaurant.
Monica: I smell like I’ve been fucked on one of those old Naugahyde couches.
Susie: I smell like a cheap saddle.
Monica looks at Susie.
Susie: Don’t say it!
Monica: Did you get their wallets?
Susie: You betcha.
Fin
PK & TJM
Timmy Tae's Thoughts 