July 2nd, 2025
The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys Go Into Space
July 2nd, 2025
It’s a beautiful warm and sunny afternoon in Cocoa Beach, Florida. The waves of the Atlantic are lapping on the sandy beaches.
The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are wearing their powder blue beachwear as they enter an old bungalow on the beach.
Patrick: This was Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello’s bungalow.
Timothy: I thought they lived in Malibu.
Patrick: They wanted a quiet life after Hollywood. They liked the beach, and besides, Florida doesn’t have an income tax.
Timothy: Aaack! What’s that?
Patrick: It’s one of Annette’s wigs.
Timothy: It looks like a wombat. Ya know, one of those critters that lives in a wet market and started the whole Covid thing in China.
Patrick: The Chinese will eat anything if it has soy sauce.
Timothy: So, where is Eddie staying?
Patrick: He’s at the Best Western.
Timothy: But we’re on the East Coast.
Patrick: I know. It makes no sense to me either.
Timothy: So, what’s the job?
Patrick: Cape Canaveral is just up the coast. Jeff Bezos bought the International Space Station. He wants to turn it into a tourist destination for his Blue Origin rockets carrying tourists.
Timothy: Ahhh, like those female celebrities in Spandex.
Patrick: Exactly. Bezos wants to beat Elon Musk and his rocket program. It’s Spandex versus SpaceX.
Timothy: And we are going to set up hospitality and entertainment.
Patrick: Right. Eddie is going to set up the bar.
Timothy: How? Booze is heavy.
Patrick: Bezos figured out how to condense booze into tablets. Just add water, which the space station can make. It can also provide the carbonation for the beer.
…
The next morning, the Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are in their powder blue space suits as they approach the Blue Origin rocket on the gantry.
Patrick: It looks like a giant dildo.
Timothy: That explains the Spandex Misstronauts.
The rocket launches the Frolic Room Trio into space, where their ship links up with the International Space Station.
Eddie goes to the bar area to start making booze from the pills. Patrick and Timothy set up the stage and sound system.
Eddie pours them all a tall glass of Beck’s Beer.
Eddie: You guys ever been weightless and drunk?
Patrick: Sure. My girlfriend and I watched the Apollo missions and wondered what sex would be like in Zero G. We got drunk, put helium balloons on us, and fucked away.
Timothy: Yeah. Next thing I hear is people hooting and hollering. Patrick and his girlfriend are a hundred feet up in the air naked as can be.
Patrick: It was kinda embarrassing.
Eddie: How did you get down?
Timothy: Oh, some kids started shooting at them with their BB guns.
Patrick: They hit some balloons, and we gradually came back to Earth in a cornfield. We fashioned clothing from corn leaves and tassels. Then walked back into Lincoln.
Timothy: They started shouting, “Go Big Red”, like they were Cornhusker fans.
Patrick: No one gave us a second look, and we made it home okay. I told my girlfriend to leave on the tassels.
Walking into the Bezos Bar in Space are the three astronauts living on the International Space Station: an Israeli, a Palestinian, and a Russian.
Russian: Vodka, now!
Israeli: I will not drink with a Palestinian.
Palestinian: I don’t drink. It is against the teachings of Mohammed.
Eddie: This is a No Religions Zone.
Palestinian: In that case, I’ll have a Gimlet.
Israeli: And I’ll have a Bombay Gin.
Russian: More Vodka!
Soon enough, the three astronauts are blitzed and laughing as they float around the bar in zero gravity.
Timothy: This bar may bring about world peace.
Patrick: If these guys vomit, it’s going to be a helluva mess.
Eddie: Vomit in Zero G is no joke.
Sure enough, the ISS soon becomes an International Vomit Comet. Puke is everywhere in the space station.
Patrick: Time to go.
Timothy: Head for the giant dildo!
The trio makes it to the spaceship and blasts off for Earth. The International Space Station is abandoned soon after the vomiting incident. NASA blamed it all on mold and food poisoning.
The ISS was last seen plummeting into the Pacific.
…
The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are back in their booth at the Frolic Room, drinking Beck’s Beers. “Rocket Man” is playing on the jukebox.
Patrick: Bezos paid us. Said it wasn’t our fault. He had the ISS insured for more than it was worth.
Timothy: It’s kinda sad. That space beer was pretty good.
Fin
TJM & PK
Timmy Tae's Thoughts 