Freaks Out at the Frolic Room

Freaks Out at the Frolic Room, April 27th, 2025

It’s a rainy Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles. The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are back in their booth at the Frolic Room on Hollywood Boulevard, drinking Beck’s Beers. “Freak Out” by Chic is playing on the jukebox.

The door to the bar opens, and in comes a tall, skinny man.

Timothy: Oh, shit! It’s Dagmar.

Patrick: Who is Dagmar?

Timothy: He’s my granduncle. I hope he’s alone.

Patrick: It doesn’t look like it.

Dagmar sees Timothy and walks over to the booth.

Dagmar: Hey, little Timmy! I heard that you and your friend, Patrick, hung out here. I figured the Frolic Room must be where it’s at in LA.

Timothy: So, the circus is in town?

Dagmar: That’s right, and all of us freaks came over for some drinks.

Patrick: Is that guy’s head on backwards?

Dagmar: Oh, that’s Owl Man. He likes to order his beer with the back of his head to the barman. He always gets a free drink.

Patrick: How does he walk that way?

Timothy: Backwards, what else?

The Miniature Woman, Half Man, and Snake Man walk and slither into the bar and get up on the bar stools.

Eddie doesn’t bother asking for IDs and serves them their drinks. Eddie gives Snake Man a low glass and a straw. Same goes for Miniature Woman. Owl Man sits on his stool with head backwards looking at Dagmar and the boys in their booth.

Patrick: Owl Man is freaking me out.

Half Man walks over on his hands and gets in the booth next to Patrick.

Half Man: Beck’s is my beer, too.

Patrick: Do you want a Beck’s?

Half Man: I’m just a halfbeck, not a fullbeck.

Patrick: Ahh.

Timothy: Dagmar, please don’t run that sword through you in here. People are drinking and think you might leak.

Dagmar: You enjoyed me doing that at Thanksgiving when you were little. You kept asking me to run myself through every which way.

Timothy: I still have nightmares. My therapist says that I’m making good progress.

Patrick: How long is the circus in town?
Half Man: Another week. Then we head for San Francisco. It is hard for us freaks to stand out there.

Dagmar: People in Frisco just look at me like another drug addict jabbing himself.

Half Man: A social worker tried to take Miniature Woman and Snake Man away from us. The city wanted to put them in a medical research facility. I think it was genetic research.

Patrick: The government wants to breed miniature women and snake men?

Timothy: Sounds logical.

Patrick: Sounds like the Porno Channel to me.

Dagmar: The Pentagon wanted me for battle wound research. They haven’t caught me yet.

Half Man: I’m just a freak.

At the bar, Snake Man is slithering up to Miniature Woman, who is beating him off with a straw. Owl Man surveys the boy’s booth with wide-open eyes.

Patrick: He does look like an owl. I’m beginning to feel like a field mouse about to be pounced upon.

The door opens, and a man with horns and a puzzle piece tattoo from head to toe walks in.

Dagmar: Hey, Enigma! You gonna drink a gallon of beer?

Enigma goes up to the bar and orders a gallon of beer.
Enigma pours the beer into a plastic gallon container and inserts a clear plastic tube. He puts the other end of the tube down his nose into his stomach and proceeds to “drink” the entire gallon of beer.

Enigma: Barman! This beer isn’t very good. I’m returning it.

Enigma then pushes the beer in his stomach out the tube and back into the gallon container.

Eddie isn’t sure whether to charge for the beer or not.

Enigma: Okay, folks! Shows over. Come to the circus! Show starts at 5 PM!

Enigma and the freaks leave the bar, climb in a van, and head back to Van Nuys and the circus grounds.

Patrick: You have an interesting family, Timothy.

Timothy: My therapist says that I’m making good progress.

TJM