Pal In Tears, January 22, 2025

Pal In Tears, January 22, 2025

Timothy walks into the Frolic Room and goes over to the booth where Patrick is already drinking a Beck’s beer.

Timothy: Look what I found on the sidewalk outside.

Patrick: It’s a flash drive. Do you still carry that ancient Mac Pro laptop?

Timothy: Yeah, it’s in my bag here.

Patrick: Give it to me. I’ll put the flash drive in it, and we’ll check out what’s on it.

Timothy: But what if it has a virus on it and wrecks my Mac Pro?

Patrick: Nothing can wreck what’s already a wreck.

Patrick puts in the flash drive. The lap top screen comes up showing the Pal In Tears company logo.

Patrick: Wow! Pal In Tears makes software for running the military in battles. It coordinates drones, tanks, artillery, missiles, infantry, ships, you name it. I owned this stock for years but sold it before it went up 400%.

Timothy: Remind me not to use you for investment advice.

Eddie, the bartender, walks over with a Beck’s for Timothy.

Eddie: Oh, yeah, Pal In Tears’ stock made me a fortune.  My Uncle Syd told me it was a sure thing. Syd has connections in DC.

Patrick: This flash drive has the source code for the military software! It’s top secret. What the hell was this doing on the sidewalk out front?

Timothy: Maybe because there was some blood next to it. I don’t know. Also, a black Mercedes sped away really fast with some guy screaming in the back seat.

Patrick and Eddie look at Timothy.

Patrick: And you didn’t think to mention this?

Timothy: Hey, we see this shit in LA every day, especially on Hollywood Boulevard.

Eddie: Forget I was even here. “What flash drive?” is my new motto.

A Chinese man in a dark suit enters the frolic room. He is accompanied by a very large Asian man wearing a suit, vest, and black bowler hat. The two Asian men crowd into the booth with Patrick and Timothy.

Chinese Man: Hello. My name is Han. This is my driver, Hod Job. I am from YaHoMini, a software company. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

Timothy notices that the brim of Hod Job’s bowler hat has blood on it.

Han: It has come to my attention that you have a flash drive you found on the sidewalk out front. Is this true?

Hod Job takes off his hat and holds it like a Frisbee.
Patrick: Could be.

Hod Job makes a loud grunting noise.

Timothy: It definitely could be.

Han: I will give you $100 for it.

Patrick: And a case of Beck’s beer.

Han: You are a tough negotiator. Done!

Timothy hands Han the flash drive. Han and Hod Job leave the bar.

Patrick: You didn’t give him the real Pal In Tears flash drive, did you?

Timothy: Naaaah. I think he’ll believe us, though. I put some blood on the flash drive.

Patrick: How the hell did you do that?

Timothy: I’ve got this bloody hang nail. Can’t get it to stop bleeding.

Patrick: So, what’s on the flash drive you gave Han?

Timothy: You remember all those videos we made about burlesque in Hollywood years ago? I think that’s what it was.

Patrick: Ah. Well, we’re dead. At least we get a case of Beck’s and this hundred-dollar bill. Oh, wait, I think it’s counterfeit.

Eddie: The guy’s credit card didn’t go through. Sorry, no case of Beck’s for you.

Patrick: Well, there you go. We’re even. He gave us a fake 100 and a bad credit card. We gave him a flash drive that has great burlesque on it. Han came out ahead.

Timothy: Are you going to say it, or do I have to?

Patrick: I’ve got to hand it to Han.

TJM