Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys in Italy

November 16th, 2024

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys Go to Reggio, Calabria, Italy

November 16th, 2024

The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys are in Reggio, Italy in Calabria, the toe of the boot. Calabria, the Ancient Greek colony where Pythagoras, Herodotus, and Milo lived.

Then the Romans came. After that, Calabria was part of the Byzantine Empire who gave the area its current name. Then came the Normans and united with the Kingdom of Naples.

After all that came the Ndrangheta Italian Mafia in the 19th century, the Ndrangheta is perhaps the most powerful Mafia in the world.

Timothy and Patrick have flown directly from Los Angeles to Rome. They hired a midnight blue Maserati Levante Trofeo to drive to Reggio at the tip of the boot of Italy.

Patrick is driving the Maserati. Timothy is sitting in the back seat. They are driving through the hills of Italy in brilliant sunshine.

Timothy: Why do you get to drive?

Patrick: I’m half Italian, and this is my country. Only an Italian knows how to drive a Maserati correctly.

Timothy: So, what is Reggio, Calabria like?

Patrick: It is beautiful! The food is fantastic! The women are bellisimo! Wait until you see the views from our villa.

Timothy: What’s your family like here? Did they ever visit you in LA?

Patrick: I’m not exactly sure. Nah. They never came to Los Angenles. My grandparents fled this area after WWII. The Ndrangheta was very powerful after the war. My great grand uncle had a nightclub and cafe on the waterfront. It was a beautiful building. I’ve seen the photos.

It had a rounded front on the corner with a balcony on the second floor. My great grand uncle Patrizio ran the place. His wife would put the laundry on the line on the roof. They lived above the club. I was named after Patrizio.

Timothy: I can see why your family name is Sgro. I looked it up. It means “curly hair.”

Patrick laughs: Si. All of Sgros have curly hair. Now, Spano means “bald”. You’ll see them at the christening. They are all bald.

Timothy: Sounds logical.

Patrick: Let’s just hope Giuseppe Barbaro isn’t at the church. He was called “Sparitu”, the disappeared. I think he’s still in jail, but his Dad might still be around.

Timothy: Let me guess, he was part of the local Mafia.

Patrick: Si. They specialized in kidnappings. The Ndrangheta had tunnels all over the Reggio area going up into the hills to farms, empty houses, and their own homes. They had some tunnels big enough to drive a truck through. The cops couldn’t catch them. That’s why my family went to America.

Timothy: And we are coming here for your grand niece’s christening. Sure. C’mon! What’s really going on?
Patrick: Okay. Look. There is a family story handed down that my great grand uncle Patrizio found out about the local Nazi gold hoard. The Germans would come into this club, get drunk, fool around with the local girls, and talk. Patrizio found out the hiding place of the gold and took some of it. Not so much that the Nazis would notice, but enough, and hid it somewhere in the club or in the hills in one of the tunnels.

Timothy: So, let me guess. The Ndrangheta found out about it and threatened Patrizio.

Patrick: Yeah. Poor Patrizio came to a bad end. Well, parts of his end were found in the bay. But the family said he never talked. He liked money more than life.

Timothy: This is making more sense all the time. I wondered why we brought the Kevlar tuxedos.

Patrick: Just a precaution.

The boys drive up to their lovely villa in Reggio. They are exhausted and after a quick meal, go to sleep.

…

The next morning, the boys are up early. They drive down to the waterfront, but the old Patrizio Club building has been torn down and replaced by a 10-story luxury hotel.

Patrick: There has to be a tunnel entrance around here somewhere.

Timothy: I’ll ask this bum over here. The bums know where the tunnels are.

Patrick: You don’t speak Italian.

Timothy walks up to a poorly dressed man on the sidewalk above the bay. He hands the man 100 Euros and shows him a photo of a tunnel

Timothy: Dove’?

The man points at a manhole cover twenty feet away.

Patrick: How did you learn Italian?

Timothy: I know two phrases. “Dove’ id bagno” and “Dove id barro.” All I need to know is the toilet and bar locations.

Patrick shakes his head. They walk over to the manhole and lift it off. Patrick pulls out two flashlights from his tuxedo and the boys go down the ladder into the tunnel below.

Timothy: Oh, this is great. I travel all the way to Reggio, Calabria, to relive my days working in the sanitary sewers of Seattle. And, as a bonus, I’m wearing a powder blue tuxedo.

Patrick: I knew you’d love it. Look for something out of the ordinary that might point to a treasure.

Timothy: Well, I’m looking at you, and you certainly aren’t looking ordinary.

Patrick: And I’m looking at you, and you’re not an X marks the spot kinda guy. Your ex sure as hell didn’t think you were a treasure.

Timothy: No need to get personal.

The boys hear noises ahead of them. Patrick and Timothy creep closer and see a light. They turn off their flashlights.

Four burly men are digging into the side of the tunnel. They start yelling and laughing.

“Fondare oro!”

Timothy whispers: “Let me guess. ‘Found gold.’”

Patrick: Si. We are too late.

A flashlight is pointed in their direction. They are seen. The four men yell and start running towards Timothy and Patrick.

The boys run up a side tunnel and then another and another. They lose their pursuers.

Patrick: Don’t worry. I know these tunnels well.

Timothy: You’ve never been here!

Patrick: My Uncle Vito had a map of the tunnels tattooed on his back. I used to study it as a kid when we went to the beach. It was fascinating for an 8-year-old.

Sure enough. The boys climb out of the tunnels right next to their rented villa and the Maserati.

Timothy: Good thing I didn’t unpack.

Patrick: Neither did I. Let’s grab our gear and go.

The boys drive back to Rome in record time and catch the next flight to LA. They sleep all the way home on the long flight.

TJM