The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys Meet Aunt Gee
October 5th, 2024
The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys (PBTB) are flying over the flooded hollers of eastern Tennessee in a Chinook helicopter. They are wearing powder blue overalls over powder blue plaid flannel shirts. Timothy is wearing a KC Royals cap, and Patrick is wearing a LA Rams cap. They are both wearing tall rubber boots.
The noise of the two engines and rotors of the Chinook helicopter is deafening. The PBTB are wearing headphones and microphones to communicate. Eddie, the bartender and owner of the Frolic Room on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles, is also on the helicopter.
Patrick: Are you sure you know which holler to look in to find your Grand Aunt Gee? And how the hell does an old fart like you have a living Grand Aunt?
Eddie: Oh, I wanna hear this.
Timothy: The story I heard from the family was that Grand Aunt Bridgette was only 13 when she got married and started pumping out babies from the guys in the holler. One of the kids married into the family. Folks called her Aunt Bridgette, then Aunt Bridgee, and finally just Aunt Gee.
Patrick: Do you have a picture of Aunt Gee?
Timothy: Sure. Here it is. (Shows old yellowed black & white photo of Aunt Gee.)
Patrick looks at the photo: This explains a lot.
Eddie: I put every case of bourbon and whiskey we have into the chopper. Do these folks live on the stuff?
Timothy: No. Those are for medicinal purposes. The folks here like the potatoes, greens, and bacon we’ve got onboard.
Patrick: What’s the name of this place?
Timothy: Unicoi, Tennessee. It was first called Greasy Cove, and it sits in the Valley Beautiful.
Patrick: This story is making more sense all the time. So we’re looking for a Valley Beautiful with greasy Unicorns.
Timothy: The pilot has GPS.
The Chinook enters a flooded holler with destroyed bridges and a town underwater below. On the hillside, they see smoke coming from a rustic cabin’s chimney.
Timothy: That’s it! That’s Aunt Gee’s cabin.
The pilot sets down the Chinook in the small goat pasture next to the cabin. He shuts down the engines. As the rotors whirl to a stop, Timothy, Patrick, and Eddie run towards, well, limp towards the porch of the cabin where a very old woman sits smoking a long-stemmed pipe.
Timothy: Aunt Gee! It’s me! Timothy from California.
Aunt Gee: What kinda get-up are you boys wearin’? You look like city slickers who fell into a vat of plaid.
Patrick: Aunt Gee…
Aunt Gee: I ain’t your fucking Aunt!
Eddie: We brought you and the town of Unicoi some supplies. They are in the helicopter.
Aunt Gee: Did you bring whiskey and tobaccee?
Timothy: We brought whiskey, ‘taters, greens, and bacon.
Aunt Gee: But no tobaccee? You tryin’ to save my health? I’m 104 years old! Next time, bring tobaccee. I like the Mandle Old Geezer Cherry blend.
Timothy: Sure thing, Aunt Gee.
Patrick: We’ll offload the Chinook and put the supplies in your barn. Nice to meet you.
Aunt Gee: You look like a nice young feller. Do you need a woman? I got a good lookin’ niece just a holler over who’d love to go to California.
Patrick: Ahhhh, maybe next trip. We have to get back before dark.
The crew of the Chinook unloads the supplies into Aunt Gee’s barn. The Powder Blue Tuxedo Boys, Eddie, and the crew of the Chinook take off and fly back to Memphis.
…
After the boys and Eddie get back to their hotel, they meet up in the hotel lounge at the bar. A country & western band is playing “The Flood” by Charles Wesley Godwin.
The mood is somber as the boys drink their Beck’s beers.
Patrick: I like your Grand Aunt Gee. She’s a fine lady and tough.
Timothy: You might like that niece over in the nearby holler. I hear she can sing like a mockingbird.
Eddie: It was a good thing we did today. It made me feel good.
Patrick: Next time, we’ll bring the Old Geezer tobacco.
TJM
Timmy Tae's Thoughts 
So much fun
LikeLike
It was fun to write.
LikeLike