Wuhan You Can

Venice Beach


Wuhan You Can, June 23, 2020

Patrick and Timothy are in their usual powder blue tuxedoes. They are also wearing powder blue face masks, gloves, and top hats. The duo are walking along Venice Beach discussing their current situation as screenwriters in Hollywood.

Patrick: No Oscars this year. No Golden Globes. No SAG Awards. No awards shows for us.

Timothy: I thought our screenplay “Wuhan You Can” really had a chance to sweep all of the awards shows for best screenplay.

Patrick: True. True. We captured the whole coronavirus environment perfectly. And why not start at the source?

Timothy: Perhaps hiring all those Chinese, or usually Japanese and Korean, actors put off the Hollywood producers.

Patrick: We had Brad Pitt all set up to play the main role! He looks really good with a black haired wig and slanted eyes.

Timothy: And of course his reuniting with Angelina would have been perfect.

Patrick: Ahh, what might have been.

Timothy: My favorite scene was in Hong Kong. We had the Commies coming onto the island, but the locals were ready for them with those big fireworks. They dropped them onto the riot police like rain from the tall buildings.

Patrick: And then we had the ChiCom helicopters come in to shoot the protesters on the roofs. Roman candles aren’t great anti-aircraft weapons.

Timothy: It was a great scene. Of course expensive to shoot with all the helicopters.
Patrick: Maybe that’s why they didn’t buy the script.

Timothy: Oh, hell, it was fun to write.

Patrick: And here we are at Venice Beach wearing masks, gloves, and top hats. Are we going to find an old world of manners and fashion?

Timothy: Dude! We are on Venice Beach. Not fecking likely.

Patrick: Well then, we must soldier on. Perhaps our next script will find an audience.

Timothy: Our audience is in the nursing homes sitting in front of the TV watching old reruns of “Gunsmoke”.

Patrick: Maybe we should do a puppet show that can be taken from nursing home to nursing home. We could franchise it.

Timothy: And these puppets would be?

Patrick: Oh, the usual husband and wife battering each other, but we could add new and local elements.

Timothy: So no more screenplays. We are now doing puppet shows?

Patrick: I see no other way.

The screenwriting duo walk off into the sunset in their powder blue tuxedoes. The waves lap over their their wingtips. The writers don’t seem to care.

Timothy: Look! There’s a bar.

Patrick: Let’s go.


Puppet Show

venice end

2 thoughts on “Wuhan You Can

  1. Ah, the creative mind gathers no miss.
    What fun, I wonder if wingtips are still in fashion? The shoe maker Allen Edmonds is still making shoes up the road here in or near Port Washington Wi..
    I would cast Gary Cooper for the leading roll? Oh wait, he’s dead. How about Faye Dunaway and Jack Nicholson? They worked well in the flick China Town?
    It could work…


    1. Hi Craig. Glad you liked the story. I remember Allen Edmonds shoes. Good to hear that they are still in business. With CGI it doesn’t matter if the actors are dead. Ha!


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